I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So much rum. So many feels.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
