I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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