i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Blood and glitter go together right?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
