you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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