Everything about him screamed your future.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
