Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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