Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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