Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
