I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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