Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
