Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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