It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
