Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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