I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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