Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So much rum. So many feels.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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