God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
