that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
