Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
