I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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