the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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