It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
