but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
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No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
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He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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