She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize