He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize