At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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