I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize