There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
