If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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