i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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