I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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