Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
