So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
