ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
