The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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