fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
