I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
