plz talk dirty to me
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
