Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
