And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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