I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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