Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
