I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
