As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
