I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
