i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
