just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
