Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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