I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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