She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
