Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Someone signed my nipple.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
