Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm always down for nudity.
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