Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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