i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
