so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
