literally had 100 drinks last night.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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