Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
