If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
