He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
