I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
