Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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