i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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