Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
