we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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