epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
