I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
